I’m not Pollyanna. My days do not always feel enchanted. Sometimes the charm wears off.
Let me tell you a story. It begins almost six years ago when we went to New Zealand as a family. We rented a campervan for three weeks and drove all over both the North and South Islands. I totally fell in love with the country. One night we stopped in a place where there happened to be ducks. My husband has always liked ducks. He had raised ducks before we were married. My oldest daughter liked feeding the ducks. They both decided we should get some ducks.
Although it was fall in NZ while we were there, it was spring when we returned home. Not entirely enthusiastic about ducks, nonetheless, I went to the feed store and bought six ducklings. They were cute and, as baby animals do, they grew up into ducks. After a period of time, we were down to one duck named Duck. I actually liked her a lot. She didn’t have a flock so she would hang out on the patio with the cats. If you quacked at her, she would quack back. Sadly, a coyote had Duck for dinner.
I was relieved to no longer have ducks. My daughters went away to college. My husband decided he wanted to raise ducks again. I lost the battle against having more ducks. He reinforced the pen to keep out predators and ordered 18 ducks through the mail. It was entirely too many ducks. The drakes were cruel to the hens. After we lost half the hens to drake abuse, we donated the rest to our neighbors who also tend chickens, goats and horses.
The story gets ugly here and I won’t go in to too much of the gruesome details. Suffice it to say that the remaining ducks are cannibalistic, homosexual necrophiliacs. Use you imagination if you must. After the final ugly duck homicide, the flock has settled in.
Today I do not feel particularly good physically or emotionally. It’s gray and cold. I might be coming down with something, changing seasons, blah, blah, blah. It doesn’t matter. I still have to take care of the ducks. I went outside to give them water. The connection from the hose to the pump was broken. I got another hose, short and kinked, turned it on and it went wild! It flopped all over the place, drenched my leg, shot water down my boot and sprayed me in the face. The ground surrounding the duck bowl is frozen solid. Icy and wet = me falling on my butt if I’m not very careful. It’s difficult to be remain cautious wrangling a hose on ice but I did remain upright!
I’m sure this would have made a great movie scene but I wasn’t feeling too captivated by the situation. When all was said and done, I stopped and looked at the ducks sliding on the ice and dunking their heads in the bowl. They could care less how cold, slippery or wet it is. It’s a matter of perspective.
Afterwards, I took a walk with two of our dogs for about 45 minutes and returned feeling less grumpy. Tina, at Open Roads Coaching, has a Grinch Jar Project. If you are feeling grumpy during the holiday season, just jot your complaint down and toss it in the jar for later. I already have two cards in my jar. I suspect there will be a few more before the holidays are done.
Even though all days do not feel enchanted, it’s still possible to bring humor into my day and take things a little less seriously. It helps to keep things in perspective.
18 comments
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Sara
December 2, 2011 at 2:13 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Oh Loran! I saw a commercial yesterday. The guy says to his wife, who had just set the patio table for dinner, apparently, that he was going to “power-wash the deck”. He flipped the switch and the hose flew out of his hands and destroyed the table and all. I don’t know what the commercial was for — insurance maybe?
I always say I’m vertically challenged during winter.. as in it’s a challenge to stay vertical! Good on you!
Loran Hills
December 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I haven’t seen that commercial but I sure would like to! I’m totally vertically challenged in the winter which means I ended walking like a little old lady across the ice.
gina
December 2, 2011 at 2:56 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Ha! love this Loran………I’ve had many battles with the hose…..and trying to keep Roxy away when I use it is, well, quite impossible…..i think she has a hose fettish……..haha, so whenever i need to use it, Roxy stays inside, lol.
And there’s been so many times that i put the hose down, well, actually drop it down, and wouldn’t you know, it lands handle down so I get squirted in the face…..talk about an awareness practice….that brings you right into the moment!
gina recently posted..The Anxiety Busting Tour has Commenced!
Lauri
December 2, 2011 at 3:35 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
You quack me up!!
Loran Hills
December 2, 2011 at 5:19 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Hahahaha!
Gaeyn
December 2, 2011 at 4:39 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Hope hubby learned his lesson about ducks. Feel better soon.
Loran Hills
December 2, 2011 at 5:29 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Now he wants chickens! Aaaah!
Elsa
December 2, 2011 at 5:04 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Vertically challenged. I like that. I always end up asking Archangel Michael to keep me upright when I cross the icy road to get our mail.
I can certainly understand why you’re not real happy about having ducks under the circumstances.
And following Lauri’s lead, I give you, one of my favourite goofy kid’s jokes:
Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
Loran Hills
December 2, 2011 at 5:28 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Elsa, that’s a good one!
Loran Hills
December 2, 2011 at 5:21 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Gina, I don’t think you could win a battle with Roxy! Hoses are definitely good for awareness practice.
Kristen
December 2, 2011 at 7:36 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Hi Loran,
Wow! Your story sounds like something I would do! And I have to say that I had no idea you could order ducks in the mail. I will have to remember that when my child learns how to read!. I hope that you are feeling better. Stay warm! And stay far from the ducks.
Kristen recently posted..Work-Life Balance: New Policies at the National Science Foundation
Loran Hills
December 3, 2011 at 11:10 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Kristen, I’m sure your child will love reading the catalog someday.
Margie Turner
December 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Well, you made me laugh with that story. I closed my eyes and could imagine it all!!
I am happy to say that we find a lot of humor in the silly, annoying things that happen to us…if anything it is great for table conversation after a long day.
Loran Hills
December 3, 2011 at 11:09 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Margie, I’m so glad I could bring a smile to your day!
Dominee
December 3, 2011 at 11:25 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I have a whole new opinion on ducks, lol! I’m so glad that you were able to keep things in perspective and see the humor in the situation, and it made for an entertaining post!
Loran Hills
December 3, 2011 at 11:35 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Dominee, I have learned more about ducks than I ever wanted to know!
Tanja
December 3, 2011 at 11:59 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Sooooo glad it doesn’t get cold enough to freeze here in Auckland, Loran (I’m not sure if that’s where you met the original ducks or not)!
But that does sound like a situation with some real potential for bringing you down – I’m so glad you were able to laugh despite the gruesomeness (black humour absolutely has its place!)
Blessings
TANJA
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Loran Hills
December 4, 2011 at 2:20 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
We were on the northern tip of the south island when we met the duck in NZ. Not that it’s the only place there are ducks. Lucky you it doesn’t freeze in Auckland.